When we talk about leadership in the church, especially for young adults, it’s important to think about how we handle control.
Do we focus on telling people what to do, or do we guide them to make their own decisions? Let’s break it down simply.
External Control: “I Am Right, You Are Wrong”
This approach is straightforward: “I know what’s right, and my job is to make sure others follow.” It relies on rules, authority, and consequences to keep things in order. Leaders using external control might focus on correcting behavior or ensuring everyone stays on the same page with church teachings.
Here’s what external control looks like:
It’s Clear and Direct:
Leaders make decisions, and people are expected to follow.
This is seen in how God gave the Ten Commandments to Israel as clear guidelines:
“You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them.” (Exodus 20:3-5, NIV)
It’s About Authority:
The leader’s role is to maintain order and ensure everyone complies. Jesus demonstrated this authority when He cleansed the temple, confronting corruption:
- “Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. ‘It is written,’ he said to them, ‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” (Matthew 21:12-13, NIV)
This can work well when clear guidance is needed, like when addressing confusion about church practices such as its vision or its mission.
But it can also backfire:
- People Resist: Especially young adults, who might feel frustrated..
- It Can Stunt Growth: If everyone is just following rules, they might not learn to take responsibility for their faith.
Internal Control: “Let’s Walk This Journey Together”
Internal Control is a totally different approach.
It’s about intentionally helping people take responsibility for their own decisions and actions by actively engaging with them. Instead of saying, “Follow me because I said so,” it’s about saying, “Let’s figure this out together.”
Its empowering
People feel encouraged to make decisions based on their personal faith. This mirrors how Jesus called His disciples to follow Him and learn by walking with Him:
“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” (Matthew 4:19, NIV)
It’s Collaborative
Leaders work with people, building mutual respect. Paul often wrote letters to churches, encouraging and correcting them collaboratively:
“I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.” (1 Corinthians 1:10, NIV)
It’s About Growth
The focus is on helping everyone mature spiritually. The fruit of the Spirit exemplifies the growth that comes from internal transformation by the Holy Spirit:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23, NIV)
The Holy Spirit exemplifies internal control perfectly. Rather than forcing us to do what’s right, He nudges, convicts, and inspires us to choose God’s way:
“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.” (John 16:13, NIV)
Choosing to practice this approach empowers believers to actively grow in their faith authentically.
But this approach isn’t always easy for people, especially when working with those who subscribe to External Control, as there can be differences in beliefs.
However, by actively choosing to practice the seven connecting habits—caring, listening, supporting, encouraging, respecting, trusting, and negotiating—within an External Control environment, relationships within the church can thrive.
In doing so, you will not only avoid harm but also intentionally reflect the light of Christ by embodying Christ-like behavior.
My Beliefs
I hold the belief that God is the purest form of external control—and the only one I fully accept.
His authority and guidance are always for our own good.
But here’s the key difference: in the New Testament, we see God stepping back from using external control as much.
Instead, He works through the Holy Spirit, who resides within us, guiding us from the inside out.
Final Thoughts
As a leader, I don’t recommend blending both approaches.
Doing so can lead to confusion and a laissez-faire style of leadership.
Instead, I firmly believe in following the model God has set: offering clear guidance rooted in His truth while trusting the Holy Spirit to work within each person’s heart.
This is how we foster spiritual growth and genuine connection with God.
Amen.